Finland. Conifers. Fire. Cones.
The senses that have saved me from life itself. When the exhaust of fatigue has taken over and left me wondering how every minute has been so full of seconds. When the enormity of responsibility has overwhelmed me. When the fatigue has gone so deep that it has numbed my soul.
Wind. Pedals. Heat. Mud.
And a Note
The warmth of nostalgia has saved me from life itself. When I have felt I am being held in my fathers’ arms, warm, big and comforting.
The senses that have saved me from a crude world. That uses and uses, over and over again.
And then, I think of Seventh Sense. And how it comes from a space of completeness.
Where nostalgia melts into sounds
Where memories meet smells
Where the hugs bind hearts
And healing is about being not doing.
Where a tear gives way to a smile
And a story takes precedence over
A note in a diary
The Story of Roo
The day I saw Roo, I knew what it was like to enjoy a child. To be with a child, with complete openness. To be a child.
And something strange happened.
I put my foot down.
A young mother in Bombay, I was bringing up Ahaan with a fear, of not gaining admission in schools, sending him for interview training at 4. “Please don’t ring the bell. Wait for me to open the door.” And “Why is he late” still ringing in my ears. I recall answering the teachers’ phone when I was in a dentist chair undergoing a root canal.
In that period of life, I entered TAC, where Roo was to take 10 days of Mr. Men with age 4. Ahaan’s age.
And I picked up the courage to tell his teacher that he had to miss a few of her classes as he had to attend this. Trembling and thinking she is going to throw him out of class, I sought her permission.
Surprisingly, with displeasure she allowed.
I was elated that Ahaan could work with that magical lady. I didn’t know her, but I loved her energy.
I used to drop him and watch the movement and fun in the class through a small window in the door. It felt so right. Like I was giving my child something precious.
I remember giving her a ride home. And then I lost her. For years to follow. Not knowing how to reach for her again.
Wherever I went, I heard of her. Everyone seemed to know my magic woman! I didn’t know she was this popular. But I was glad I had listened to my heart.
Today, she is my soul sister. And I get bear hugs every week and messages on how my class made such a difference to her during this phase of her life. She gets her daughter Laila to Seventh Sense with the same magnetic force that made me take Ahaan to her.
And I feel what Mom used to say. Be the best in what you do.
I don’t know what I do anymore. But I definitely feel like the best is within me – when I can watch a tear turn into a story before my eyes…